So the five of us had Sunday Brunch at The St. Regis.
Incredibly yummy, superb service, exquisite setting.
It’s what you happily expect from a 5 star, 5 diamond hotel.
A and I had invited the family as our guests.
So she and I had previously agreed and told the family that we wanted to take them as our guests, and would be splitting the bill for the party of five.
You’d have to be from another planet NOT to know that the hotel is a very upscale one.
The family knew – they were all excited in the three weeks leading up to it.
First, they are twenty minutes late.
Second, The Mama shows up in a torn (on purpose) mini blue-jean skirt, baring her midriif, with a zebra striped crop top and black&white high heels. A look I’d expect to see in a club on a summer night, and NOT at the elegant St. Regis.
The oldest daughter was dressed nicely and was pleasant.
The youngest daughter was dressed in short shorts, heavy makeup, and texted blatantly at the table for most of the meal, with a sour look on her face, making no effort to intitiate conversation with anyone. Nor did she say thank you when the meal was over.
No effort was made by them to even make an offer to contribute to the tip.
Which frankly, I always think is a nice thing to do when you are someone’s guest.
Someone buys me a meal? You bet I’ll put down 20% for the tip as my way if contributing.
Let alone if someone bought me AND my children each a meal.
I was disgusted by the lack of respect shown by the clothing and the behavior.
Dressing nicely is an intention and not about wearing desinger labels. It’s about being appropriate.
Ugh. That is the LAST time I will invite them anywhere.
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Hard to know what to say here C. In the little ones case, I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. The mama has no excuse. Kids these days…No respect.
Good Sunday to you Mary Anne.
My guess is that she thought she looked so hot, she didn’t take into consideration for one second that the outfit wasn’t appropriate in that setting.
And yes about the apple from the tree. You are right – the behaviors are learned by example and with cooperation.
It must have been embarrassing … I’m sure you were properly attired and having to sit with them
Hello YW,
I just thought she had zero sense and less manners.
Had she been going to a bodybuilding contest, she would have been perfectly suitable.
To not be aware of the difference is clueless with a Capital ‘C’.
I have a 16yo and she knows better. I can’t imagine what a grown woman was thinking. We’ve had the conversation many, many times about appearances and proper behavior. She can schlepp with the best of them, but she also has knowledge of manners and proper etiquette. Then again, my DD has grown up in the military lifestyle. I wonder if that makes a difference?
Regardless, it’s just common courtesy when you’re invited somewhere — ANYWHERE — to:
1) Be on time. Better yet, be early.
2) Dress appropriately. If you’re not 100% sure, ask your hostess.
3) Bring a hostess gift and/or contribute to the tip.
4) Send a thank-you note (although I wouldn’t hold my breath on that one!).
I grew up in the south, but I don’t think that’s just southern manners. I’d like to think that it’s common sense.
I’m sorry that it sounds like your meal was unpleasant. I hope that you were able to at least salvage the rest of the day.
Shari,
Agree with you that you have the right idea for all four points you brought up.
The military might indeed have made a difference – I dated a man who was in the Navy years ago, and his manners were impeccable.
She e-mailed me a thank you note, so that was nice.
The food was yummy and the service was great, so it didn’t spoil the meal at all – it was just one of those things where you know the two of you do not have the same perception of what manners are.
There’s nothing that drives me crazier than mothers that dress like they are sharing a closet with their teenage daughters — not that the attire you described her in would have been appropriate on anyone dining there, no matter their age! That stuff irks me…dress appropriately, save the “reliving your youth” attire for some other event.
Sorry the brunch did not go well – they didn’t know how to appreciate such wonderful hosts.
Hi Stephanie:)
Agree with you on that. It’s just about being gracious/dignified. No matter how great you look for your age, there is still a way to dress that is respectful and attractive.
Oh hell to the NO they didn’t show up like that. That’s insane & I’m sorry you had to sit there with those rude & inappropriately dressed people. Short torn skirt at The St. Regis? Wow.
Also, sorry they didnt even pitch in for the tip. Rude much?
Lin,
Kind of boggles the mind, doesn’t it?
I wish you’d been there to say that to her face (lol)!
I am always surprised when people don’t show respect. The clothes, the behavior- both were a sign of not appreciating the gift. I bet it put a real damper on what could have been a delightful brunch.
Hi Jane Anne.
Yes, I think you very much see the subtext of it.
It didin’t put a damper on Brunch thankfully because I really enkoyed the food and the service and how nice the dining room is, – but it DID put a damper on any desire to ever see them again.
Some people are just clueless – I don’t think they MEANT any insult – they simply don’t think and that will likely be a prevailing behavior pattern.
That’s embarrassing, though I kind of know people who would do things like that, mostly because they aren’t accustomed to going somewhere so fancy.
Silver,
I hear you, but I think this is slightly different.
My housekeeper and her duaghter do not go anywhere fancy, but when I took them to England as my guests for 8 days, they both dressed simply yet very tastefully, like ladies.
Susan and her two daughters have more money than my housekeeper – and Susan and the younger daughter were dressed like tramps on purpose because that is what they (oblivious to good taste) think looks good.
I just saw something posted on FB that made me think of this post. It was an Ipad image with these words on it, “Putting your phone away and talking to those talking to you? There’s an app for that. It’s called RESPECT.”
PERFECT:)
The mama dressed worse than the oldest daughter? Ick. Torn jeans in a nice brunch? Even I have better sense than that.
At least the oldest daughter was pleasant! But sorry about the annoying experience! That would have left me in a very peeved mood.
Thanks Sophia – you expressed what I felt!
The utter lack of respect and social graces shown by so many nowadays disturbs me over and over again.
I’m sorry you experienced this.
I wish I’d been of the Walton’s Mountain generation when social graces were the norm.
Thank you, and I’ll join you in that generation!:)
Well, I can understand about their dress as it showed a complete lack of respect for the occasion, but some people are clueless. You mentioned that they were family, I’m assuming your husband’s family, so perhaps he would have had some clue about that? Anyhow, it was classless of them. But I will have to disagree about the tip as when I treat or get treated by others, it is understood that the host will pay for the meal in full.
Hi Creative,
They were deliberately clueless, I think.
No, not husband’s family – it was my trainer at the gym and her two daughters.
As to the tip, the meal for the three of them alone came to $240 before tip. I just think it would have been nice for her to OFFER – even though we would have refused.
I agree with you in general, it was just those particular circumstances.
Perhaps if they’d been dressed appropriately and behaved nicely, I wouldn’t even have thought about it.
I think the whole disrespectful thing just made me feel resentful over what should have been a pleasure and a treat to do with them.